Love With No Regret
by minachandler
Summary: "Hey," Laurel says softly, grabbing Nyssa's right hand and kissing her knuckles firmly, "you can have me. For as long and as many times as you want." Set just before Nyssa goes back to Nanda Parbat at the end of 3x23. Laurel doesn't know how much longer she has with Nyssa, but she's determined to make the most of every second.
The callouses on Nyssa's hand feel slightly rough as she drags her palm lazily down Laurel's abdomen. They're in Laurel's bed, and it's a little after sunrise, judging by the orange light that is streaming through the gap in the curtains, illuminating their bare skin with a warm glow. Laurel picks up Nyssa's hand and looks at it more closely, her thumb tracing the faint marks in her skin.

"What?" Nyssa says curiously after a moment.

"Did you get these being an archer?" she asks.

Nyssa shakes her head. "From being a swordswoman." She holds up her hand and gestures to the tiny callouses on two of her fingers. "These, I gained from my bow."

"Huh. Maybe I have a type," Laurel says with a chuckle.

"I hope that was not your idea of a compliment," Nyssa says, trying to sound affronted but not quite managing it (the sparkle of amusement in her eyes is impossible for Laurel not to see, especially when Nyssa's lips upturn ever so slightly into the beginnings of a smile).

"Not exactly. God knows - you've been better to me than he ever was - and we aren't even really…"

But she trails off, not quite managing to finish her sentence. For a moment there's silence as they both contemplate what Laurel was about to say. And then Nyssa surprises Laurel by kissing her suddenly, but gently, her hand going up to the back of Laurel's neck and then into her hair.

"We are not really… together, you mean to say," Nyssa says softly.

Laurel sighs. "Only because one day soon you're going to leave."

"I am sorry, samaya."

But Laurel shakes her head. "It's okay. No matter what happens next, I'm just glad I - we - that…"

Again she can't quite find the words, so she reaches for Nyssa's hand and works her fingers through Nyssa's until they're laced together and Laurel can feel the gentle throb of Nyssa's pulse against her forefinger as it presses into her wrist.

"As am I," Nyssa replies. "Believe me. I would happily stay here forever if I could. But Starling City is your home. I must return to mine at some point." Laurel nods and shifts a little, pulling the comforter over her bare shoulder while she shuffles a bit closer to Nyssa, so her arm can settle around her waist.

"I understand," Laurel says. "But I gotta say - whenever you do go? I'll miss you." She lifts her hand to Nyssa's cheek and lets her fingers brush against Nyssa's lips. "All of you."

"Believe me… I will too." And there's no mistaking Nyssa's slight shiver at Laurel's touch, the way her hand slips leisurely down Laurel's thigh and settles on her knee, and the gleam of want in Nyssa's flushed cheeks and warm gaze.

"So, confession," Laurel says softly. "There was a time when... " Laurel pauses, lets her own hand drop to her side before her fingers skirt her entrance. She knows Nyssa's watching, and she doesn't mean to but she lets out a tiny moan when the pad of her finger comes into contact with her centre, sending an unexpectedly hot rush of arousal through her. "... when I thought _that_ was the closest I'd ever get to being with you."

Perhaps more surprising, though, is Nyssa's palm as it covers Laurel's knuckles, applying the gentlest pressure and making Laurel whimper involuntarily.

"I know," Nyssa says, and somehow those two words clear some of the mist of lust in Laurel's mind. She takes her hand away and almost automatically her fingers (two of them ever so slightly wet) tangle with Nyssa's, while with her free hand Laurel pushes her hair away from her face. Then she looks up at Nyssa, eyebrows raised.

"What do you mean?"

And for some reason Nyssa can't quite meet Laurel's eyes. It's then that Laurel realises Nyssa hadn't meant to say what she did, that the words must have slipped out unintentionally - however unusual that is for her.

"Two weeks or so into your training," Nyssa says, "I - began to realise something. Something that I now know for certain."

She pauses, though, still not looking Laurel in the eye. "Which was?"

"That I was falling in love with my beloved's sister," Nyssa says finally, looking up at her now, and there is such sincerity in the way she reaches up and cups Laurel's cheek. "You… saw me for the person I did not even think I was worthy of being. And naturally, I was rather conflicted at the time. Confused. And one day after I had not seen you for several nights - you said you were busy with a case - I came here. And I found… you."

Laurel closes her eyes. She doesn't know why she expects to feel embarrassed but she also doesn't think the heat she can feel rising up her neck and cheeks has anything to do feeling self-conscious. (They've kind of gotten past that stage - as she expects, really, considering mere hours before Nyssa got Laurel to come three times in a row.) "Oh my God," she says under her breath. "I remember that night. It was… hot and uncomfortable and I couldn't sleep. I hadn't been able to for days - until I let myself think of you."

Nyssa's kiss is unexpected and it catches Laurel off-guard, just like the gentle swell of Nyssa's breasts as they press up against Laurel's ribcage. It takes Laurel a moment to catch her breath when Nyssa pulls away and their eyes meet, foreheads still close together, Nyssa's front teeth briefly skimming her bottom lip with something that looks like nervousness.

"I did not mean to intrude," she says quickly, and that just makes Laurel laugh. "Truly. Upon my arrival I did realise you were - somewhat otherwise occupied."

"Why did you never say anything?" Laurel asks, and she tilts her head a little more to one side while playing with a few strands of Nyssa's hair. "Or… do anything? I wouldn't have exactly complained if you came in and, you know, finished off what I started."

Nyssa just smiles, and it's not a sad smile, exactly, more one that is just ever so slightly edged with something unreadable.

"I did not think it prudent to fall in love with, let alone be with, a woman I could not have."

"Hey," Laurel says softly, grabbing Nyssa's right hand and kissing her knuckles firmly, "you can have me. For as long and as many times as you want."

And there's something about the way Nyssa regards her, eyebrows arched just a little higher than normal (in incredulity perhaps) that makes Laurel's heart skip a beat. And though they flung off the last remnants of their clothing a while ago, now, it's only as Laurel's watching Nyssa watch her with this growing intensity that Laurel feels really and truly exposed, like she's laid herself bare for Nyssa in a way she didn't exactly mean to (but also doesn't regret for a second if Nyssa is going to look at her like that).

"You mean that?" Nyssa says at last, and her voice is just a little bit roughened by her prolonged silence. But her eyes are soft and brown and warm and when they flick up to meet Laurel's, that's all she needs to answer Nyssa with a kiss. Nyssa smiles against Laurel's lips and tugs at Laurel's shoulders until she's on top of Nyssa, knees on either side of her waist, and when they come up for air Laurel can't help but feel triumphant at how breathless Nyssa is.

"I do," Laurel says - probably unnecessarily, but she needs Nyssa to know. She would do anything for her. Then, shifting a little, Laurel back so she's straddling Nyssa's right thigh and the movement alone is enough to arouse damp heat between her legs. At the same time Laurel notices Nyssa's eyes darkening and sharp rise and fall of her abdomen at her intake of breath.

Nyssa's hand is already on Laurel's thigh, so she's surprised when Nyssa reaches for Laurel's wrist. Automatically Laurel finds herself grinding down against Nyssa's thigh, and the hot friction that that creates alone is enough to make Laurel whisper Nyssa's name under her breath.

And then Nyssa's guiding Laurel's hand up to Laurel's centre, slowly, carefully, the entire time with her eyes fixed on Laurel's in askance. Nyssa's grip loosens a bit on Laurel's arm and almost reflexively Laurel's finger slips inside herself. Part of her wants to close her eyes but the soft pink flush that has appeared on Nyssa's neck and cheeks is enough for Laurel to bite her lip and keep them open.

Laurel's wet, more so than she anticipated, and she drags her finger leisurely up until she finds her clitoris. It's swollen and throbbing and it's as she applies just a little bit more pressure that she can feel Nyssa's thigh quivering beneath her. She pauses for a moment, withdrawing her hand, and Nyssa immediately snatches it up, sucking on Laurel's fingertips. And she's not sure why but there's something about the gentle hum of Nyssa's moan against her skin that turns Laurel on even more.

But as Nyssa lets Laurel's hand go and her own hand settles on Laurel's knee, she asks, "Ya Laurel… may I - finish what you started?"

Laurel laughs, then, mirroring Nyssa and guiding her hand to her entrance.

"I told you," she says, "for as long and as many times as you want."

Nyssa smiles, and suddenly, unexpectedly, she flips them over easily so now Laurel is beneath her and she's kissing a soft trail up Laurel's thigh until Nyssa's tongue hits her wet centre. And Laurel's already close, even before she threads her fingers through Nyssa's hair, but the scrape of Nyssa's mouth against her walls is all it takes for her to gasp and thrust her hips forward inadvertently and the pleasure she feels in her groin is white-hot. When Laurel trembles to her climax Nyssa only slows a little, her tongue still lapping up the remnants Laurel's damp heat as her partner gets her breath back.

Then Nyssa climbs back up Laurel so their eyes are level and her lips meet Nyssa's in a chaste kiss, softer than Laurel expects.

"Love you," Laurel mutters, still feeling a bit lightheaded from her orgasm, but when she opens her eyes again her mind clears a bit. She can't help but smile as she asks teasingly, "May I - finish what you started?"

"I sense you're mocking me," Nyssa says, once again attempting to look affronted, but her smile betrays her and she lets Laurel push at her shoulders so she's on her back once more. Almost instantly Laurel's mouth is on Nyssa's neck, planting kisses down her collarbone and then - as she cradles Nyssa's breast with her palm - letting her tongue dart out to her stiffened nipple. It's fun teasing Nyssa, watching and feeling and tasting as she slowly loses control, her abdomen rising and falling with increased rapidity as Laurel's lips trail lower, along Nyssa's ribcage and down her hips.

"I sense you are now trying to kill me, ya Laurel," Nyssa says, and she gasps when Laurel lets her teeth skim Nyssa's thigh. Laurel looks up, meets Nyssa's eyes and grins, before lifting Nyssa's leg so it goes up and over Laurel's shoulder.

She's become accustomed to the taste of Nyssa now - and she savours the sharp sweetness as her tongue slips inside. Nyssa's pretty sensitive, Laurel's learned, so she goes lightly at first, finding her bearings, before her tongue flicks against Nyssa's favourite spot. And Laurel's never been with someone who falls completely apart at her every touch like Nyssa does; the stream of Arabic that spills from Nyssa's lips is still mostly unintelligible to Laurel, but the foreignness of Nyssa's words do not make them any less musical to Laurel's ears.

Blindly Laurel reaches out until her hand finds Nyssa's, and as soon as their fingers interlock Nyssa's grip tightens so Laurel can feel every callous and rough imperfection on her lover's skin as she rocks her hips against Laurel's mouth.

Her jaw is aching now, but she doesn't stop, won't stop, not until Nyssa comes, repeating the words _ya Laurel_ again and again like a prayer. Laurel's out of breath, now, but she manages to hoist herself up so she's at Nyssa's side once more, leaning on her elbow. She notices the way Nyssa's forehead is glistening with sweat, just before Laurel's hand goes to the back of Nyssa's neck and their lips meet in a searing kiss that leaves both of them gasping.

"I wish it could always be like this," Nyssa whispers, her nose slightly damp as it brushes against Laurel's.

Laurel just sighs, wraps her arm around Nyssa's waist and drops a kiss on her shoulder. "One day," Laurel murmurs back.

And she knows they're not promised tomorrow, but if she closes her eyes and thinks hard enough, perhaps someday (as Nyssa mouths _I love you_ against the hollow of Laurel's neck), they'll find each other again.


End file.
